Let’s talk about “I’m Sorry”.   In 1970, Ali McGraw proclaimed the seemingly true statement, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”  The popularity of the movie and the tenderness of this “Love Story” made this seem so true.  Really?  Is this true?  In my experience it is actually a great relational skill to be able to apologize sincerely and to accept an authentically sincere apology in order to build a path to a closer more trusting relationship.

I know folks who find it very difficult to express their sorrow for wrong doing and those who have never accepted the apology of a friend, co-worker or family member.

First, let’s talk about some of the ways we try to say we are sorry.  There is the tone of voice, the body language and facial expressions. Then there is the deeper motivation for even admitting the wrong doing that comes from the heart condition.  I have known people who say… “I said I was sorry, what more do you want?” 

There's Something more going on here...

I have been thinking more about the stories we tell.  What it is that I share about myself or other people?  Even more than that, what story am I choosing to live? What is it that drive people to behave and act out the story that they chose to live?  With every action, and every conversation there is more lurking in the background.  It is the operating system in my heart and mind that drive my outward behaviors.  This morning I was reading about the speculations that some psychologists have about why a seemingly mild mannered young man violently ambushed and killed a police officer who was peacefully walking her beat in a neighboring city.  What was lurking in that young man’s heart and mind to plan out and execute such an act?

What do you See?

Happy New Year!  I am hoping that each of these posts help you continue to grow in relationship and love with God and others!


When my son and his wife served as missionaries in Madrid, Spain they partnered with Campus Crusade for Christ (now, CRU) to reach out to international students at the University of Madrid.  They set up tables out in the common area where students would gather for conversation, study and rest. The sign read, “¿Qué Vas?” Basically, “What do you See?” The table was scattered with 6X6 black and white photos of people, places and things.  There were close-ups and panoramas. Some photos were close-up images of larger things - -extreme close-ups like the hair on grasshopper legs, or patterns of the human eye inside the iris, the veins of a flower pedal or the textures of a fish scale. Other pictures were far off vistas like the earth from space or the view from a 12,000 foot mountain peak over a sea of tumultuous clouds.  

The students would then write or talk about what they saw in the photos they chose.  A conversation began and those who were interested could continue the conversation and explore things of life, things of faith or make a new friend.