Coffee Day

Today is Saturday. A Coffee Day.  A while ago I realized that I was drinking 4-6 (or more) cups of coffee a day. I was not sleeping well; my stomach was a mess and I knew something had to change.  However, I L-O-V-E that first sip of coffee in the morning.  That first sip would lead to the first cup, then another, then coffee with a friend and before the day was over, iced coffee or coffee with hot chocolate would top off the afternoon-depending on the season of course.  The moment my head would reach the pillow at night, whether I was dead tired or not, my eyes would not shut, and my legs would feel like Coca-Cola was racing through my veins.

I have tried substitutes:   Herbal Tea- nope, that’s the beverage for when I am sick.  Lemon water- not very satisfying.  Hot Chocolate- too chocolaty!  Just skipping a hot beverage all together??? How boring! Nothing seemed to satisfy.  I have prayed about this and have tried “thinking techniques” to change my thinking and meditation to change my heart around this, but still the solution escaped me.

Finally, about a year ago one of my health practitioners introduced me to a dandelion beverage. My husband calls it “Dandy”.  It is an instant powder that is much like the “Postum” I remember my grandfather drinking.  I will not mention the brand name here- but if you email me I will gladly pass it on to you.

Lo and behold!  It was actually rather good and somewhat satisfying.  I decided to take a different approach.  Enjoy a cup of coffee two planned mornings a week then sub in the “Dandy” on the other days.  My stomach began to feel better and since I was naturally taking in less caffeine, I began to fall asleep and stay asleep.  With more sleep my attitude and countenance were better.  I had a better outlook, more Peace, and my connection with God was more tangible and steady. 

So many things in life are outcomes of habitual patterns.  What begins as a morning sip of coffee (harmless) can turn into 6-8 cups of raging caffeine in my veins, sleep debt, gut chaos and a snippy attitude toward those I love.

Relationship patterns can behave in much the same way.  First, let me define what I mean by relationship patterns.  These are what we say and do in response to what others say and do.  In families we develop ingrained (sometimes invisible to the family) patterns of saying and doing to each other things that are annoying and even harmful.  We get so use to these patterns that we are blind to them and think that this is just “normal”.  We take the first “sip” in the morning and keep going through the day until everyone feels a little bit (or a lot) miserable by the end of the day. An example of this can be a mother or father rolling her or his eyes when the teenager walks into the room and sighs.  “What now?” can be the words with a tone of “here you go again” and “ I already know what you are going to say”.  This type of verbal, emotional and physical pattern repeated can inflict shame and despair in both the child and the parent. 

Another pattern that I see often in families are well meaning words of advice-almost always interpreted as criticism. Or the constant rebuttal when another expresses his or her opinion.  In the book of Proverbs, the poet speaks out more than once about a wife who is “quarrelsome”:

Better to live on a corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife. Proverbs 21:9

I would say this could go for a husband too, or any other member of the family.  Relationship patterns can show up in families, in workplaces, in friendships and anywhere in life where we keep repeating the same verbal, emotional and physical response to what others do and say.  Could we even go so far to say that racial prejudice and injustice toward others are deeply ingrained patterns in our very culture.  So, what are we to do?

First, is self-awareness.  How many “cups of coffee” are you really drinking each day?  What relationship pattern do you hear or see yourself saying or doing repeatedly?  Then comes reflection.  Pray, ask the Holy Spirit to show you the inner driver, your motivation, the deep seeded belief that drives this response.  Ask a trusted friend or mentor to give you some honest feedback.  Usually these are things we cannot see in ourselves. 

Many years ago, I had a Bible study leader call me and kindly ask me to stop talking so much during our group study time. Ouch!  She was kind and I knew she cared about me. AND I knew I was talking a lot.  I hijacked the study most weeks with my tremendous insights and wise ah-hahs!  Oh my.  I wrestled with this and lost many nights sleep.  The next week I was almost silent during our study, but my stomach and the burning behind my eyes wanted to answer every question.  Since those days I have engaged in hundreds (maybe thousands) of hours of therapy, self-awareness seminars and classes, and I  have spent time in reflection, prayer, study and conversation with trusted friends and advisors.  I discovered that my need to be heard came from a deep chasm in my heart that has needed care and healing and love.  These things do not “fix” easily. 

The reward for this work has been better more equitable relationships, respect, and regard for and from others and a deeper more peaceful faith walk with my Creator God.  So, what is it that you can reflect on today that will lead you toward more healthy satisfying relationships with others?  During this time of sheltering with each other these patterns can be much more intense. If you and your family are struggling, reach out and get help…if you are just merely aware and annoyed that things aren’t as congenial as they could be, then get busy and do your work. What cup will you drink from?

Vending Machine God

So much of the time I treat God like a vending machine.  I judge how well my day is going on whether God has “answered” my prayer for this or that in the way I want God to act.  Did I get that new client? Will there be paper products on the grocery shelf today? Will that other person treat me better today? Will the leaders in my community act according to the way I think things should be done? Will my friend or family member be healed of cancer?  And the list can continue.  These are not wrong or selfish requests in themselves, and we are to “make our requests known to God” but, is this the best way to approach God? What if God was more interested in us knowing Him and being known by Him?

During these challenging Global times we are each in unique positions of economic, relational, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual trials.  For some who have maintained work and have a stable home life, this time has perhaps been a time of rest and reset.  A time to connect with family over meals and walks and a less demanding schedule.  For some there are financial and relational hardships. Work has evaporated, relationships that were tense before are escalating and could even be abusive.  The other day, my daughter reflected that we are all in the same storm, but in many different boats.  So true.

So, how do we come to God in these times?  In any times?  Is God our cosmic vending machine?  Just put in a request and if God chooses to grant this, then we can conclude that we are loved or at least accepted by our Creator? I have been thinking a lot about what kinds of requests are acceptable or right or good.  What can we ask of God and what can we expect as a good answer? 

First, God has demonstrated throughout history in the Bible and in many historical accounts that He (I use this pronoun, because it is how God chooses to identify Himself ) has helped some people, healed some people, rescued some people; and He has also allowed others to suffer and die.  In the Old Testament scriptures, God saved Daniel from the lion’s den, rescued Jonah from sure drowning and death (by having him swallowed by a great big fish, no less), intervened on Isaac’s behalf before his father, Abraham offered him up as a slain sacrifice (at God’s request) and provided extravagant rescue operations for many others.  On the other hand, God wiped out all but one family in the world with a world wide flood, exterminated two great cities with fire and sulfur from the heavens and struck down many others who chose to turn away from God in rebellion and pride.

There are also the personal stories of friends and family that have been healed, rescued, offered jobs, met life lovers, and even got the last package of TP on the shelf.  Grace.  There are still others who have been maimed for life in war, abused severely as children, lost the war with cancer leaving young families and more.  Not to mention natural disasters and global pandemics.  Toss in inconsistent leaders, criminals, homeless folks, and children suffering at the hands of those who are supposed to protect and care for them.  It makes one wonder.  What shall I pray?  God, where are you?  Do you care?

When Jesus traveled with his disciples, he taught them to pray what we now call the Lord’s Prayer. 

“Our Father, who art in Heaven, hallowed (or holy) be thy name.  Thy Kingdom come; thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.  Give us today our daily bread and forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors and lead us not into temptation but deliver us from the evil one.  For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen”

The simple part is that we get to come to God as a child---Father---a good father (unlike some earthly fathers). He loves us as children. He tells us here what to ask for. We can ask for bread and safety and forgiveness.  The complicated part is that we do not really know what “Thy Kingdom come” really means, nor when this event-if it is an event-- is to happen. And forgiveness does not come easy for many of us.

Then there is the more complex “holy” part.  If God is holy, then all unholiness needs to be purged before we can come and be in His presence.  If this is true then not one person now or ever has deserved an audience with the One True Creator, Holy God. God is not obliged to answer anything except, “no” or even death itself to those who have rebelled or turned away in unbelief.   We have all rebelled, we have all turned away from God at some time or another—even the cutest children.

So, how can we approach God and what shall we expect? Here is the good news.  Even though the Holy Creator God is pure and perfect, this God has chosen also to be all-loving.  He laid all His wrath upon Jesus at the cross who then proved His own God-ness by raising from the dead.  Jesus promised (and still promises) to be with us in sorrow, suffering, joy and even day to day routine. He does not promise to take suffering away and provide for an easy and “happy life” here on earth. He promises to save us from our sin so that we can spend an eternity free from suffering and experience complete Joy with Him and the others who have also believed.

He does not promise to give us anything else---yet He does.  Many of us are well-fed, have people in our lives who love us, have purpose and meaning in our work and we can find solutions for many of our problems. Believers -and even some who are not sure—can experience God’s comfort and presence during tough times.  We are in some tough times now and many folks are praying to have good solutions to the problems.  However, there is still the question, “What shall we pray?” or “How shall we pray?”

Are we seeking answers and relief to and from our problems?  Or are we praying to seek God Himself? If we go back to the prayer that we have been given as an example, we see that we are encouraged to ask for “daily bread”.  This is OK.  But first we are to acknowledge God as God. Holy.  And then we are to pray for His Kingdom to come, His will to be done.  We will be tempted to be selfish, unforgiving and to participate in evil so we must pray for God to rescue us from this.  There is more I can say on this, but I think this is enough for now.  So, as we navigate our days through challenging times it seems there is a question to ponder first:

Am I merely seeking solutions to my suffering? Or am I seeking to know and honor God first?  Perhaps I even need His help in this.  Keep Praying.  God is listening and God will answer.  It just might not be the answer you were expecting. I guarantee, though, that it will be the answer that will be best for you and your life with God in the “Forever Kingdom”.  “To Him be the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory forever, Amen”

God, are you watching?

Greetings Dear Family and Friends.

Do you ever wonder if God is watching?  Listening? Caring?

Today, Saturday April 11, 2020 is the day that we remember the time when our Lord Jesus Christ was buried, and sealed in the tomb.  It was a dark day. There was real darkness, the sun was covered, evil men had killed the innocent Jesus, the disciples were scattered and filled with despair.  Had they given their whole lives to this? They wondered. A dead end. The savior, rabbi, friend and brother was now dead. He lay inside a sealed tomb with a giant boulder slammed shut over the opening.  Enemy Roman guards stood on either side to be sure no one robbed this grave. He was slaughtered by the Romans, sent to death by his own brothers, given over to hostiles by the priests who claimed to love God. It was a dark day.

Are you feeling like that? Despair creeping in?  Feeling surrounded by dark news of illness raging throughout the world? Isolation, financial distress, relational turmoil, the world around crumbling into a deep chasm of darkness and despair?  Are you wondering if God is watching? Listening? Does God care?

Oh, dear friend… I assure you that God is and God Does!

Last night my husband , my mother and I (our shelter-in-place trio) watched the movie, Beautifully Broken. This true story, filled with all the elements of evil, darkness and despair had the threads of God’s goodness, redemption and light woven into the fabric of 3 families’ lives.  Three fathers were hoping to protect their families from the evil raging in Rwanda and also in Nashville, Tennessee.  I will not give the story away- and I must admit that the acting was not profoundly excellent- yet this powerful story of God’s redemption- the Ever-present Divine watching even in the midst of evil, can give us hope at this time when Hope seems hard to come by.

I was particularly struck by William, the man, husband, father and friend, who has every reason to despair, yet through it all, he kept remembering and thinking and reminding others that even though everything may look dark now, we can choose to think clearly. We can choose to remind ourselves and others of the threads of God’s light, God’s hope and God’s faithfulness even in the darkest of moments. We can choose to forgive those who have inflicted evil upon us. We can choose to look forward with Hope.

Friends, this is a dark day.  Perhaps you have had evil, trauma and death creep into your life and now this current viral epidemic is closing in on you on top of it all.  Do not despair.  There is hope!

This Sunday morning, April 12, 2020, we celebrate the true event of the Resurrection of Christ.  This really happened.  The stone was blown off the opening to the grave. Jesus burst to life in His resurrected body!  He proved that He is God’s Son!  He conquered death, and evil, and sin, and illness.  He brought into the world redemption and LIFE!  So even in this time of trial, even in the midst of despair, His love brings us hope and life.

God is watching. God is redeeming.  God gives us life in the midst of the suffering.

Here is the story according to Matthew:

After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. 2 There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it. 3 His appearance was like lightning, and his clothes were white as snow. 4 The guards were so afraid of him that they shook and became like dead men. 5 The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. 6 He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. 7 Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.” 8 So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. 9 Suddenly Jesus met them. “Greetings,” he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. 10 Then Jesus said to them, “Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers… Matthew 28:1-10b

Also, the apostle Paul records this:

Jesus said, to the woman [at the well, and now to us too]   “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die;and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26

God is watching and God Cares for you!

Blessings to you and your loved ones as we celebrate this Good News! He is Risen…He is Risen Indeed.