“What made me do that?” Have you ever lamented this internal phrase? Have you ever felt that there is something sinister lurking inside that is really not You?

When the Apostle Paul shares in the book of Romans that he is “doing the very thing that I hate”, he carries on about knowing what to do and not doing it…wanting to do something and doing another thing… then finally laments, “oh, wretched man that I am!”  What makes us do what we do, even when we want to do something or say something different?

Most of us know about the fight, flight or freeze response to pain or danger (perceived or real), but most of us are not aware that there is a limbic response going on in most of the actions we choose to take.  Perhaps we could say, all? Someone will say something that may “trigger” a response in us to say or do something in defense, even though we know we are not really in eminent danger.  I admit that my husband may say or do something quite innocent and non-threatening in his mind and yet I feel an instant reaction in my stomach, my chest or my jaw that I am being attacked or at the very least un-cared for. 

Worry-or OR Warrier?

Is “worry” a sin?  I asked myself this question years ago. I have been a great Worry-or!  Fretting about how my kids are doing.  They are all adults now.  Worrying about the state of the world.  It is really a mess.  Worrying about what to fix for dinner, what to wear…next week for that appointment that I have yet to schedule!  YIKES! How much time, energy and peace of mind am I consuming just on worry?  All things that I cannot change.

Dr. Caroline Leaf (www.dr.leaf.com  )maintains that worry, anxiety, fretting, and toxic thinking actually cause brain damage.  The Apostle Paul exhorts us that because the Lord provides for everything we need and that He watches over us, cares for us and Loves us fully, that we need not worry or be anxious about ANYTHING. Millions-perhaps billions—of dollars are spent every year by folks attempting to alleviate stress, worry and fretting.  Yet we continue to be addicted to anxiety and worry, thinking that this will somehow make our lives better.  We think that we will get results from other people if we worry enough. I get sucked in the false thinking that somehow the situation will turn out better if I worry, fret and loose sleep over it. 

While it has only been a week since my last blog post, I have been inspired to write and share more in hopes that in this journey toward redemption you, the reader, may also enjoy some benefit from the sharing of my stories and pondering  I thought the best place to begin today is just thinking about what story we tell. I wrote this pondering a couple of years ago. Hope you enjoy the reflection.

Whenever I am travelling or visiting a new place, inevitably I will run into a new person or two.  I am always interested in what story a person shares about his/her life when we first meet.  A while ago, my husband and I were out for a walk in a little neighborhood where we were staying on a “winter break”.