Relationships follow rules.  Whether you know the rules or even believe or care about the rules, they are still in place.  Let me use the metaphor of traffic rules.  If I drive on the freeway I must stay in my lane. If I want to change lanes, I put on my blinker, look over my shoulder and move into the space at the right speed to keep up with traffic.  If I miss any of these steps, I may be in danger of a serious crash resulting in injury and even death.

Relationships follow rules.  We can go through life ignoring the rules, not paying attention to them or just not even bothering to care, but if this is the way you live, your relationships are probably not very satisfying and perhaps even toxic and dangerous to yourself and others.  I know a woman who says, “I am just too busy to care about all that stuff, why bother?”  Well, talk to her co-workers, her kids and her husband (if she still has one) and they can tell you that she is difficult to be with and they steer clear when she enters the room. Perhaps you know a person who is always negative and saying that it is everyone else’s fault that their life is one dead end after another? 

Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience, Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIV)

“But you don’t know how he/she hurt me!”, you may say.  Can I say a bit more about forgiveness today? 

We have all been hurt and we have all offended someone at sometime in our lives.  My first response to being hurt or hurting someone else is, well, I must admit this, it’s defensiveness.  Whether I have been hurt and lash out in defense or I have intentionally or unintentionally hurt someone else, my go to response is to defend myself.

The Hawaiians, along with many other indigenous cultures claim that “family” is a very high value.   I believe that in every human heart and every culture there is a sense that family is to be the strongest of human bonds.  “Blood is thicker than water”, I can hear my mother and my grandmother’s voices chiming in together. While some families do not live up to the holy bond that I believe was intended for us, some families enjoy this bond fully.  While travelling to Molokai last January my husband and I had a 4-hour layover in Kahului Airport in Maui and enjoyed observing one such family.

There is only one flight into Kaunakakai Airport on the small “friendly island” of Molokai each day because not many folks visit Molokai. Short term rentals are limited and there are few touristy-resort type activities in the small town community on this central island of the Hawaiian chain.